They went out for a late dinner. It was on a thursday, which was usually his late night, but on this thursday, he would have rather went to sleep early. But as always, he couldn't let her down, as she had him for so many years. He had to feel like the better man. Maybe, he was always the dumber man, but he couldn't tell anymore as many games as they'd played. Nevertheless, he had an uneasy feeling about this dinner. He had something on his mind all day, something he wanted to tell her. He was happy, eyes lit up like Christmas, and wanted to share that with her. He was full of joy as he sat down at the table. She had a slight sparkle in her eye as well, but a vacant look.

The waiter came to the table, and took the drink and appetizer orders. A Manhattan for her, and a stouter than usual Crown and Sprite for him. He needed liquid courage for the night ahead, as his sense of forboding grew stronger. The happiness he was experiencing quickly wore off, and he realized, there was no going back.

The two made small talk, catching up over the previous weeks events. Sharing the details of thier days which were overlooked in the text messages they shared. She talked about her new job, he talked about his slow days at his current one. She mentioned how she hated it. He just realized its the same ol same ol for him.

The Appetizer came. It was their usual, Chips and salsa, and a side of queso. But he wasnt hungry, she dug in.

He sat there, listened, and sipped on his drink, the second the waiter walked by, he ordered another. "Are you ok honey? You aren't eating, and I haven't seen you have a drink that fast in a while?" "Im not too hungry dear, and its been a long day"

After a short silence, as he finished off his second drink, the waiter reappeared "Alright guys, what can I get for you two tonight?" He had a very friendly demeanor for a server at a place like this, you could tell, he was doing the best with what he got. The waiter noticed the mans expression on his face, almost like someone who was just shot. She ordered a burger, medium, with toppings on the side. He ordered a steak, bloody, with a plain baked potato. She noticed the change, but didnt mention it for a moment.

His face began to become pale, like he had just taken one too many of his favorite painkillers. By this time, she noticed. There was another silence, although, it was more awkward. She realized the way he had always looked at her, was gone for the first time. He could tell she noticed, but his dimeanor didn't change. He caught the waiter, and ordered drink number 3. By this point, she knew something was wrong. She knew something was eating him alive. She had no idea what. Or she did, just couldnt admit it. He became pale as a ghost. She knew he'd been on those pills, and began to worry that the drinks could cause a lethal reaction. He knew this was what she was thinking, "Honey. I'm fine. Stop worrying. I'm not an addict. I'm just frustrated"

The food came. She began to eat, ever worrying about his state, drink #4, it was evident he was getting loose. He cut his steak, but, did is slower than usual. "Whats on your mind dear?", she asked him. By this point, he'd taken another painkiller, I suppose he needed more than liquid courage.

"Whats on my mind?"

"Is that what you want to really know?"

His tone seemed less open and happy. More shrewd, more hollow, angry.

"Yes! I dont like it when your like this, please talk to me."

"Well, Ill tell you why Im like this. I'm like this, because I cant take this anymore. over 4 fucking years! 4 FUCKING YEARS!", he yelled. She knew she shouldnt have asked, but it was on. There was no stopping him. She hoped that this might be like the many other times, he yelled, then collected himself. But the mix of courage he was on, he didnt care.

He screamed, she couldnt tell if he was going to hit her, or break down and cry, she'd only seen this once in her life.

"Four fucking years, Ive sat here at these tables with you, Ive lost friends over you, Ive lost girlfriends for you, Ive made more mistakes looking out for you than anything in my life. I left everything for you, I lost sleep, everything, just to try and make you fucking happy, you fucking bitch. For years, I always had your back even when I knew I was wrong, or you were, but that didnt matter. You pretend it did, no. I stayed around for some fucked up notion of love, some fucked up sense of dignity, and trying to support you. Youre worthless. Fucking worthless. Im the only motherfucker you've ever had in your life that unconditionally loved you, Im the only one that had your fucking back. And what do I have to show for it? A life of regrets and mistakes and wasted fucking hopes. You want to know why no one loves you? Why all the guys you have leave you? YOUR A FUCKING WASTE. A FUCKING PSYCHOTIC BITCH WITH SO MANY FUCKING PROBLEMS, that might I mention, brought on yourself! PEOPLE LEAVE YOU BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH YOUR PATHETIC ISSUES. I stayed around not out of love. Out of fucking pity. Fuck you. Fuck. You. I cant be here for you anymore, I wont be here. Dont fucking call me. Dont text me. Dont IM, Email, Fabo, anything. Dont think about me. IF you plan to be somewhere I might be, ask a mutual friend first. IF I die, dont show at the funeral. If my sister, mother, father, anyone passes, dont come. If I cant breathe, dont try CPR, if Im laying and dying, dont call a fucking ambulance. What Im trying to say here, is I want nothing to do with you anymore, I cant take it, its not healthy, and I want no more regrets in your name. Im not coming back. Im sick."

He was teary eyed, red as a tomatoe, and he could barely breathe. He could barely stand.

"The games you play, the gray area...You've broken my heart more times than I can count, and I always came back, I always tried. I cant anymore. And I wont."

She looked at him, and looked away, she was in tears, she had no idea. Now she did.

The waiter came back overr to the table, oblivious to what had just happened.

"Can I get you guys a to-go box, some dessert, how was everything?"

The man looked at the waiter, then glanced at her. Reached in his pocket, thew out a hundred dollar bill.

 "Im done."