Hide and Seek.

you walk down alameda shuffling your deck
of trick cards over everyone
like some precious only son
face down, bow to the champion
you walk down alameda looking at the
cracks in the sidewalk
thinking about your friends
how you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense
for your own protection over their affection
nobody broke your heart
you broke your own because you can't finish what you start
walk down alameda brushing off the nightmare you wish
could plague me when i'm awake
and now you see your first mistake was thinking that you could relate
for one or two minutes she liked you
but the fix is in
you're all pretension
i never pay attention
nobody broke your heart
you broke your own because you can't finish what you start
nobody broke your heart
you broke your own because you can't finish what you start
nobody broke your heart
you broke your own because you can't finish what you start
nobody broke your heart
if you're alone it must be you that wants to be apart

I keep daydreaming of a time when I can run away for good.

I figure in a year or so, if I still in the back of my mind feel like I do, maybe I can just have enough money to pick up, find a new job in a new town, and see if I can make some magic happen.

georgia moonshine.

I'm really beginning to have second thoughts about moving out in the next month.

Its about that time of year.

This made me chuckle.

"So how are you?"
-"I'm good. I dropped the zero, talking to who I hope to be a hero"
"Are you drunk hun?"
-"Not at all, doll."

Somethings never change, ha.

Sunday beer, and darkness singalongs.



I start some things in my life that I'll never finish

And I start others with no intention of doing so.

I really want to care sometimes.
And then I think I don't have it in me.

Bumpin Blueprint III.

I'm having one of those days where I feel like I'm loosing my grip again, like I'm walking on eggshells, but then I remember why I started getting my shit together.

Then I think about what it is I want and need.
I take the two.

I want my own place, because I need my own feeling of independence and earning my own keep.
I want love in my life, pure true love, because I realize I need something stable and healthy, that I need something more than a best friend, and that I need to feel more important to someone that is most important to me. Really, I don't like being alone, I drive myself crazy by myself sometimes. I suppose the simplest thing, is that I have a large bed, and its nice to look over and see someone who feels like a better half there.
Fuck the sex, fuck the one night stands, fuck the fake.

Then I remember that things are starting to fall into place, and when it comes down to it, I'm the maker of my own destiny, I'm the maker of my own life, and I'm really the only one in control of what I do.

When it comes down to it, I'm the only person looking in the mirror in the morning.
The way I see it.
Think before I act, and do what feels right, atleast that way when I'm wrong, I can't beat myself up for haste.


One step at a time, Wes.

I woke up a little while ago, and said to myself "Wait a minute, I didn't go to bed by myself." She left her earrings and bobby pins, which I think was just an excuse for us to have to see each other later in the day.

But my bed smells like her, and shes all thats on my mind. I love it. Love it. Love it. She calls me just to talk sometimes, and I answer just to listen to her.
Shes beautiful, and kisses like she means it everytime.

It amazes me the turnaround in things over the past month or two. But I really pray it stays this way.

It seems like things are coming full circle.

The 211 is riding again.
An amazing lady in my life.
I have a job I enjoy everyday.

A rare breed

"Ya know Wes, I need you. I've tried to convince myself that I didn't for the last 8 months, but I do."

"We're a strange breed cousin, and truthfully we don't work as well without the other in a pack"


I suppose that when it comes down to it, my cousin and I are a strange breed, and through the crazy times and whatever personal bullshit we've been through, neither one of us can be the only zebra in a pack of horses.

Too weird to live, too rare to die.

Good lord shes beautiful.
And so damn sexy without even meaning to.

I seriously like everything about her.
Every little thing.

I've never enjoyed just laying in bed and watching Oceans 11 like I do with her.

Its funny, she reminds me of my dad in a way, atleast, that she bought 6 of the big 6-pack bottles of Mtn Dew last night, and all I could say was "And you get onto me for smoking?!"

I dunno what it is, I like the openness, and the honesty.

I hope to God I dont fuck this one up, and that something really comes of it.
I have nothing but the most noble of intentions.

Its the happiest Ive been with a woman since Kellye.
And honestly, this surpasses that.

I dunno, maybe open mind equals open heart, and maybe that as long as you stay positive, good things come around.

I've been on a good run of luck lately.
Good job
Good woman
Good friends.

Make choices.
Don't look back.

Think before you act, and you can never have a true regret, just a learning experience.


We're no fools, we just have a bigger soft spot for those we love compared to most, thats our biggest weakness aside from our tempers.

This new thing.
I like it.
Her.
Alot.

I hang on every word she says.
And I hate to say it, but usually, I can give a shit less what a girl I'm kicking it with says for the most part.
And do everything in my power to keep her entertained and smiling.

Im not sure what it is, but she interests me like no other girl I've met in a long time has.
I find myself just wanting to be around her, for no reason other than just that she puts me at ease maybe? Maybe I find her to be genuine, and I hardly know her. Maybe its that Im completely intrigued and vulnerable with her, and that I try to be the best I can.

this is too strange.

But I find her to be beautiful, and interesting.

Those two things are hard to come by in one woman.