Rock and roll and rolls and rocks.

Ive started to really think teaching could be my calling.

I have an unnerving need to make sure people are ok, or to help people through things at all times.

I like to think, that maybe, that constant need to help that Ive felt since I can remember, would make me succeed at teaching.

I started this blog just as the most random thing I can post in.

Share my thoughts, videos, ideas.

Maybe its just the babbling of a truly lonely man.

Maybes its the guidelines to a master plan Ive wanted to orchestrate.

I havent talked to her since sunday, and for some reason, Im almost worried.

Im sure shes just been working and busy, but shit.

I shake when I shiver. And I think about her more and more and I question whether its healthy.

I find myself re-evaluating who I really trust in my life, and who I feel like I unconditionally care about, and really, who does the same for me.

It was very made very apparent, that one of my oldest friends apparently doesnt have the same amount of care or respect for me, as I have for him our entire lives. But I suppose if he needed a small victory, then by all means, he deserves it.

But, I can't help but laugh to myself, as I completely took this incident in stride, and in reality, it doesnt bother me one bit as I thought it would.

I re-evaulate my plans.

I know what I need to do.

I woke up at a decent time today, and I was actually on time for work up at the shop today.

It was a strange feeling, as I woke up feeling almost rested, and ready for the day.

I ran alot of errands, and found myself scooting around town with the windows down, and the sunroof open, taking a few extra minutes at everywhere I stopped at, just to see how others days were going, or how they were doing.

And when I got back to work, I ended up helping Brice with his homework, it made me realize how lucky I was as a child, not to sound cocky, but I was a lot smarter than he was at that age, I remember being able to solve some of the stuff faster at that age. But, the kid really tries, and that is alot more than I can ever say I did at that age.

What bothers me the most, is that no matter how good my days are, I still feel empty once I get home.

Maybe, thats why I try not to be at home that often.

Im missing something.

Im missing some real love, or sense of worth.

I havent felt like Ive had either in a long time now, and that everytime I find myself nearly touching it, somehow, I let it go.

I notice though, I have a tendency these days of being more genuine, and more open from the get go, of offering everything I have, even if I dont.

I jump head first, when I used to dip my foot in the pool.

Although, I got a nice Grecian Hookah last night.

Mike just called me up and said "Hey, Im cleaning out my closets, and I gotta get rid of that old Hookah I had, you want it"

Now I just need somethin to put in it.