I think her and I seriously might move in together.
Its all Ive thought about for the past few days.

Well, I finally bought a handgun.

I find it funny that lately, all my younger buddies are alot more fun than my older ones.

So wes, you're either a real smooth talker, or a genuinely nice guy.

"It's a little bit of both to be honest"

All things aside, Jamie gave the best funderal service I've ever witnessed.

Sometimes I really hate that you can't buy alcohol after midnight.

It's hard to watch when loved ones are on their way out, and you know its inevitable.
But what I think sometimes is worse, is when you watch those closest not know how to deal with it.

Although, he seems to be understanding of it, and to have a sense of peace knowing the last real day they spent together was a great day. that alone is something to be proud of, and to sleep easy over.

The crown and sprite always gets me.
A little loose in all honesty.

Hell, it gets me through.
I understand how people feel as though they need it.
The last few days, I couldn't wait to get off work, or get home just so I could have one drink to take the edge off.

No matter how much I brush my teeth, I can't get this taste out of my mouth.

This routine I have going on, I have to stop.
Burning at both ends.
I've said my farewell's to all my former lovers, and stopped it all before it began.

Whats funny, is that it never happened, and she bought it. It makes you realize who you can have confidence in. A final test of sorts.

I've went out for drinks every night since my birthday, a cool mixed drink followed by a different beer each night just to take the edge off.

I haven't slept well in the last few days, I can't tell if its guilt or just having too much going on to find the time. I have a different demon, and lately, the regrets for what I've done over the last few years have gone away, and now its the lack of action that gets to me.

I'm happy though, this new group of friends and fiends that I've somehow managed to hit it off with, the change of pace, and the legit good time vibe in the air is what I need these holidays.

I'm buying a new jacket when I get paid tomorrow, maybe some new shoes. and I'm leaving town around Christmas.
I need a small trip alone somewhere.

I think Jen and I may have something this go-round. Brutal honesty with each other.
Not because we feel the need to come clean, but more so to learn to let go maybe. Life is about second chances, I feel its mutual.
It feels good. It's raw. It's passionate, and its light hearted. It feels real.
I can't tell if it will be short-lived again, but I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can for as long as I can.

I saw Courtney Gray for the first time in a few months saturday night, and realized that she really means nothing to me anymore. I'm not bitter, or angry, or plagued with some feeling of "what if" anymore. I'm happy for her, and wish her the best, and I feel that's mutual, as well as very sincere. It it what it is, and was what it was. I thought about it before I saw her, and the second I looked at her, nothing at all. She isn't beautiful to me anymore. I never thought that could happen. I never thought it would. It was the first time that we'd ever hugged like there wasn't something there.

It's because there isn't anymore.


Its the first breeze of closure with a female that I feel was mutual, and understanding. Closing that book.


The world is yours.
And fear is the only thing that's ever held me back.
It's time for my ambition to begin to exceed my talents again.

Lovers
to
Best Friends
to
Friends
to
Old Friends
to
Just someone you used to know, just some one that you used to know.

I just realized I haven't had a day I haven't atleast had 2 drinks since my birthday.