Through the late night, and into the early morning.
She tells me she thinks we should try it.
I tell her she can have whatever she likes.
She tells me shes not sure if its a good idea.
I tell her I know shes right for me, and that I'll do whatever it takes to make it work.
She tells me she wants to, but is afraid of the drama that everyone will have, or whether she'll have the courage to face alot of people cause of her occupation, or of me.
I tell her I can care less about those people, and Ill have her back when she needs to face them.
She tells me I'm protective.
I want to tell her I love her.
I told her today the main reason I left highschool the way I did.
She told me she wanted to yell at me, but couldnt.
She says I make her happy in some way she can't explain, and I'm the person she always wants to talk to at 3am and that she feels better when she does.
I tell her how to this day, I still always hope its her when I hear my phone late at night.
She asks me that if we try, if Im ok with keeping it on the low for a little while just to see if it really works.
I tell her whatever she wants, Ill do.
She tells me that it scares the hell out of her to not have me as much of a friend like when I was with Kel, that she didn't realize what I meant to her until I wasn't there. That she wished she'd treated me better over the years.
I tell her its all ok. We're even. I tell her that regardless of what happened with her and I, I'm always going to have her back, I've always tried to, even when I shouldn't/couldn't have.
This thing with her and I seems to have gotten alot more real, way fast.
But, I cant let this time slip away.
But its not my call, its up to her, I'd just like to feel like her first choice for once.
Theres so many shades of gray
But its all black and white,
what I want tonight.
This all would potentially kill me.
I know it would.
And for once, Im ok with that, competely.
"If she says come inside Ill come inside for her.
If she says give it all Ill give everything to her."
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