2-14-10: Turks in rare form.

I don't know how to relive last night, but the Turk boys were in rare form.

I love the Tree, I think its the only bar that we'll never get kicked out of. We drank, and stayed merry.
Lexi is still my favorite bartender in the world, and honestly, shes a really great person, in my eyes.

I dunno, its strange, I think I have a kind of crush on her. But its not the typical kind, but she really intrigues me. Good taste in music, good taste in cars, and a total badass. I feel like a bit of an idiot though, I should have realized that when she asked me to take her home, it would have been a great time to get to know her more. I wanted to leave with her, I didn't expect anything but good conversation mostly. What I didnt realize until after we ended up at a 43 year old cougar's apartment that I had to strike up a one night relationship with, was that she really just wanted me to chill with her.

Just me, to come kick it. I don't know how in the world I didn't pick up on that, or really, I don't know how the fuck I didnt go for it. I think truthfully, I wasnt too drunk to drive, but I didn't want anything to happen to her in the event hell broke loose. I just hope we do end up hanging out at some point this week. Shes cooler than most. I didnt want to admit it, but the fact that her of all women wanted to kick it with just me like that, really meant alot, I dunno why either. I mean it really touched me kinda. Stunned. And I felt like such a jackass, because I was too busy doing my normal game spitting boyish charm prove I can get whatever I want persona, when really, I would have rather ended up just watching tv with her, hell, I get excited when she texts me through the day just to bullshit with me. Something about charming blue eyed girls.

I know I romanticize things way too much, ha.

Anyways, enough of that.

South and I nearly had a barfight with some jealous 40+-past his prime-want to be somebody-fuck, when he asked about my haircut, I knew what he was going for, but I just answered with a simple "Oh, the same lady has done it for the last 15 years, what about yours? I like the touch of grey combback" and when he started on South, cousin was ready to roar. "You look like your gonna go bald" -"Atleast I have hair on my nuts, fucker" "Well your gonna end up getting fat" "Hey, fuck you you fucking faggot (as the guy walks away) COME BACK OVER HER YOU FUCKING PUNK, CMON FAGGOT" As Robyn egged him on in a way, he was mad that we had the charm, and he didnt. Punk, ha.

I also tried to fight Lexi's boyfriend, or atleast kept telling her how I planned to whoop his fucking ass if he kept glaring at us.


I dunno, as high as my cousin was, and as out of of drunk mixed with flu symptoms I have, I am surprised we made it home. I really am. I mean, we ended up in Smyrna at like 6am lost after leaving the shire. It was a hell of a night. One to go down in the books.

But I will say, the strangest thing of the evening, was how I prayed before I went to sleep. I fell asleep at Lexi's on her couch for a bit, and when I woke up, I was like in a cold sweat almost, head ringing, just ringing. I couldn't see strait at all. I didnt know what happened. The ride home was the same, and when we finally made it back, and I grabbed a sheet out of the closet and laid on the couch, I was burning up, as in Im sure I was running a high fever, I'd never felt that way before. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was anxiety, maybe I just had more on my mind than I realized.

But I prayed. I prayed to God, Babbled, on and on, how I know he's there, and how I was sorry we haven't been on the best of terms, but I knew he was watching, and to please just let me wake up today, let me not die in my sleep, or go into a coma or something. Just to get me through the early morning nap I had. That I was sorry that I'm a drunk, a liar, and borderline crazy. That I was sorry for the things I've done. That I was honestly scared I was going to die on that couch, when things really seem o be looking up again. that I didnt want to go.

And oddly enough, I woke up at about 10:20 this morning, feeling like a million bucks.

If I've ever spoke to God, and thought he spoke back, today was the day.