I've been tossing and turning.

Pacing her floors

Over and over.

Get up, get some water

Lay back down.

I shake, and I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest for some strange reason.

It's starting to get to me

that feeling that just maybe, I need someone else aside from myself for an unselfish reason, just because I want her around for good.

It's that sickening feeling in my gut again, a feeling I haven't felt in years. That feeling that knowing if something happened to her, I would probably loose it.

Fuck it. I would loose it.

*this was a section of text I removed, as it may show how legitimately crazy I feel like I've been becoming*

But when I look at it, it feels like she makes me whole again.

This is something I am not used to

That I haven't felt in 2 or 3 years now.

It's driving me up the wall tonight, this morning, whichever you want to call it.

I haven't let someone this far in in a long time.

Hell, I haven't admitted to letting someone in.

I haven't physically felt like I needed anyone like this.

It's a feeling I've been searching for for a while now.

And it's a feeling that I absolutely despise and love at the same time.